So anyways, short post. Created an ask/fm. http://ask.fm/Simran152 . Is it really surprising? Idk I’m not really the type to do this sort of thing but wanted to give it a shot. But then I got thinking. What kind of type am I? I come up blank. Ever since my aunt asked me who I was. I’ve been trying to think of an answer. I mean I’m me. Who else can I be but me. But the thing is who is me? And it’s very frustrating cause I just keep ending up with negative things because I’m afraid of acknowledging the positive ones because I’m starting to slowly believe that they are hardly true. So I’m getting a bit pissed at myself for all that. I don’t know. I’m annoying myself. I don’t know if it gets any weirder than that.
We’re all wonderful,wonderful people. So when did we all become so fearful?
Just want to say sorry if you were the unlucky few people who heard me complain about my birthday being on the first day of term 3. I realised that I probably sounded like a whiny bitch and well, birthday’s aren’t such a big deal so I shouldn’t have made it seem all that important. So I’m sorry that you had to hear me complain.
So I’m shifting this Saturday. I guess, it finally hits you that you are not going to be coming home to the same home any more. Everything will be different. I don’t like change. In fact I don’t work well with change. It takes me a long time to adjust. So though I am extremely excited to shift, I am dreading the weird feelings of unfamiliarity and uncomfortable-ness I’m going to get. My house is in a complete mess and though almost everything is packed, it is as though there is still a ton of things that still needs to be packed. It’s kind of funny actually. I really don’t want to unpack. I’m just going to try and live out of the cartons. Though I’m sure dearest Simar will come and help me unpack. 😀 My new house is at a location I’m not so happy about. I was but now I’m not really. Besides Simar, there are actually many other people I know who live in that area and let’s just say I may not be a fan of a few of them.
I been pretty out of it lately. I don’t know. I can’t sleep at night and nightmares are too often so this kind of sucks. I haven’t been talking to the people I want to talk to but I’m so tired of everything or even bothering that I just rather pretend that I’m just not available. It’s been one of those weeks where I rather be alone. So sorry if I’ve been rather cold lately. Anyways, I’m going to continue studying so till the next time /Salutes/
If people were rain, I was drizzle and he was a hurricane.
13.6.13
Went out with my new neighbour 😀 Just basically walked around. Got pretty cool earnings and rings. So I’m quite excited about that. (: Simar is Simar and well she is basically like my best friend so it’s always freaking fun to hang out with her. I think living near her is like one of the things I am most excited about ^^ Oh and plus I can completely exploit her right now.
Rant
So I have decided that if you don’t bother about our friendship, I won’t either. I’m not going to bother with you. I’m always initiating conversations and suggesting that we should meet up and all that. I mean it’s just basically these two people who are like that. I’m making an effort and I’m trying because frankly our friendships mean a lot to me. But I’m done with you guys. Just done. So if you don’t hear from me any more, don’t wonder why. I won’t pretend. If I’m talking about you, you’ll know. I won’t confuse you
I’ve been in a pretty funny and bipolar mood I don’t know why. I don’t know. I’ve been pretty depressed about life and stuff. Hormones and all that I guess.But I’m getting pretty sick of the nightmares.
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful. Would you let me see beneath your perfect.
Currently addicted to that song. Beneath Your Beautiful Labrinth ft Emeli Sanders. He’s an amazing rapper and well an even more amazing singer. But anyways back to my post.
1) 7.06.13 (Friday)
Yue Wen’s birthday outing. It was pretty fun. We saw the movie Now You See Me and it is pretty great. I loved it actually. It was confusing but understandable at the same time and it kept us guessing right till the end. No spoilers but totally did not expect the ending and it was a complete twist. Lunch was funny with our fail attempt at singing happy birthday with the 3 cupcakes from 12 cupcakes. Christina and her Milo and of course her not-so-sneeky attempts at taking pictures of her ‘otps’. Wei Lynn , the tall smart-ass, thought it would be fantastic to buy 2 family combos and so naturally we bought 4 gigantic cokes and 2 even more gigantic tubs (?) of popcorn. Safe to say, we did not finish them all. I think overall Yue Wen had fun and I guess that matters the most 😀
2) 11.06.13 (Today)
I can feel my teeth again. Braces came off today. Just came back actually. Went to the dentist, got my braces removed and then my sister treated me to Java Chip Frap from Star Bucks at Wilkie Edge. It was fun spending some time with her alone. It’s been awhile. Anyways, I think I look pretty different but hopefully (?) better. Fingers crossed. Getting my retainers tomorrow though but I think I’m okay with that because I am quite willing to keep my teeth straight forever.
Other than that nothing much has happened in the past few days. Went furniture shopping for the new house. I never knew it was so hard. So many options. So hard to choose.But all that’s left is a desk I think and the basics of my room is more or less complete. Read Looking for Alaska and I must admit that I cried. It is so sad but I think if John Green did not kill her (Am I spoiling it?) It would have totally killed the book so I thought is was necessary though I am going to probably re-read it after a few months maybe to fully understand and digest the book.
Okay well, that’s it for now. I have started packing (Finally!) but there is less than I thought but still a lot so I’m going to continue now. 😀
The worst things in life come free to us.
2 things that I need to get off my chest. I haven’t felt like talking about what’s going with me to anybody because it’s so messed up that I don’t even know how to begin. But I think I need to start untangling my thoughts and figuring out what the hell is wrong with me.
1) The same person I was talking about earlier. You are constantly confusing me.Confusing may not be the right word but for now that’s okay. So anyways, I feel like I’m the only trying. I’m the only making an effort by imitating conversations. I think I have said that I was going to give up on it a gazzilion times but something is holding me back.I don’t know really how I feel about this. I do know that I wished I mattered to you. Because it really seems like out of all your friends, I’m the one you are not making an effort to actually stay friends with. Maybe I’m not getting the hint or maybe because I don’t want to get the hint. But all I know is I should stop bothering so much because it’s stupid really. Extremely stupid in fact.
2) Awkward eye contact guy. HAHA I saw him again today. But the thing is, I should really get over this whole infatuation/crush thing I have on him. Because I know deep down nothing is going to happen because please, a guy like him will never go for someone like me. Plus, we have never even had a conversation so he doesn’t even know me at all. I don’t think I ever expected anything but I always hoped. But oh well. It’s always better to be high on the fantasy where he likes me than actual reality where I’m just the girl who spilt ice-cream on him. You read right.
Fevers back and I’m feeling pretty sad again so I’m going to go sleep away all my problems.
You tell me your life’s been way off line. You’re falling to pieces every time.
Two posts in the span of 3 days. Not bad I must say 😀
I totally forgot what I wanted to blog about but lets give this a shot. So, I have started packing. Slow and steady wins the race huh? But I think the coolest thing about clearing up is finding things you thought were missing or that you never knew you had. I found this super cool magic set that I owned. Apparently I got it for my birthday and it cost $72.90. I completely forgot all about it but heh I used to my heart’s content and it seems that I even put up a magic show with my sister for my parents. OH WOW I WAS A MAGICIAN. Simran the Magician. Huh, a new career choice I can consider. But anyways, I really need to go shopping for my new room. I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to decorate my room. I was thinking about putting up lanterns and other than that I’m lost. I think it’ll be easier to know how I want to decorate my room after I have moved it cause then I’ll know precisely how my room exactly looks. My parents have allowed you guys to come over for a sleepover. You know the first weekend of July.It’s a long weekend because of Youth Day. My birthday is on the 1st so my parents don’t mind as yet. But they have been pretty hot and cold lately so who knows, they might change their mind.
Ah, another thing. Friends with people with so many friends. It’s not their fault. Definitely not their fault. But, you always have that doubt on whether or not you are just one of the many friends that they have or do you actually mean something to them. Are you one of the many people that they have this same conversation with? It’s like they are your close friend but they may not even consider you to be their close friend. Does that make sense? Idk.
Okay, well I’m in a good mood today so I don’t really want to write so much about that. I have dental appointment and I think she is going to tell me when I can remove my braces. OH YEAH 😀
Till the next time /salutes/
I don’t feel like I’m falling, I’m up against the sky.
It’s been awhile since I have blogged. I figured I need to fix and stop whatever I’m feeling before I get downright depressed so I’m trying and I’m willing to try as hard as I can because I’m just sick of those feelings.
I somewhat feel like the IBS thing I went for really helped in a weird, unexpected way.As funny as this sounds, I was kind of glad that I got week to spend with people I did not really know that well and a break from everyone else. I enjoyed the ferry rides and I definitely enjoyed the IBS. I mean yeah, I would have definitely preferred going for OBS but under the circumstances and the fact that I couldn’t really change my fractured ankle, I was glad. I’ve been thinking about life and the future and all that difficult stuff . And I have no clue what the end is but I somewhat have goals that I want to achieve and I feel like I finally have a direction. It feels good to have something to work towards.
I also realised that there are some people out there who are just no worth it and those who I’m so lucky to have in my life. I think I have about only a small amount people who I know will be there for me.I don’t really need any more. There is one person who I’m utterly confused about. If you know me, you’ll know that I can’t stand no replies. I mean if the message doesn’t require a reply I don’t give a damn. But if you ask me if I’m okay and I reply and you don’t reply then it pisses me off. Not so much because I want to see what you have to say but because it’s so obvious that you were just curious and that you don’t really give a fuck. Up till yesterday, I was so sure you were a wonderful friend and now I’m just like wtf but I can’t help that you don’t care. It hurts but there isn’t anything I can do so I’ll get over it.
There is also that whole thing with my parents but I think that’s clearing up so I won’t dwell on it too much. I’m pretty bummed I can’t go for Hannah’s party but there is really nothing I can do about it at this point so I’m trying not focus on that.
One a brighter note, I’m moving. I wish to another country but no to a house. Like a two storey house and everything. It’s pretty exciting cause I get my own room and everything. But then again,there’s that bit of sentimentality, I don’t really want to leave this house which is probably why I don’t want to start packing even though I’m pretty screwed because it’s kind of late.:( Okay but that’s not the point. The point is I’m going to live so near Simar and that’s going to be freaking awesome. And also partly because I’m going to be living near a certain someone who I always have awkward eye contact with (and the one and only person that makes me blush) HAHA and that’s going to freaking awesome tooooooo. My sister is back too and finally got my Panic! shirt and Paramore shirt and oh my red TOMS too. Oh my adventure with Mun Cheng is going to start too and that’s pretty exciting.
Okay I think that’s about all for now 😀 Maybe i’ll start updating more frequently. Who knows? (;
All I feel is sadness and I am so tired of it.
Today was a really great day xD But more into detail about today tomorrow (or the next time I actually blog) Anyway, I need to get this of my chest.
#1 Friend
I just always thought becoming good friends with someone means that you guys will friends with each other until the end. Like you know so much about me and what is going on in my life. Yet,you don’t seem to care anymore. I told you what was happening with my dad cause well I thought you cared but know I doubt it. Maybe you were really just curious. Cause if you cared then you would bother to comfort me and ask me if I am okay since well it is on Thursday and I just want to scream and cry. But I feel like I am seeking you out to tell you my problems and bothering you. But I guess your new found friends mean more and I don’t really care if you don’t remember me or even give a fuck about me. I just don’t get how you do it. I don’t get how you can care about one person one minute and totally not give a shit the next. We are great friends and suddenly we don’t even talk and I am the only making conversation. And I am so tired and so sad. The last two years of getting closer to each other meant nothing? But heh. What the hell can I do? I have done what I can to try and keep this damn friendship because it means alot to me but it won’t work out in the end cause it is one sided. And well, I am done.
#2 Friend
So damn different. I liked the old you. The bitchy but not overly bitchy one. The one I felt damn comfortable ranting to . But you just seem different. It is like we weren’t even friends. Maybe I always considered you a great friend but it was probably just me. I can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself. You tell almost everyone your problems but you don’t even take any ones advise. You are not doing anything to make your situation better. And it is frankly just damn annoying. Because how do you expect a puzzle to be solved when you leave the pieces in the box?
I am not the type to mix very fast. I take awhile to get comfortable with someone. I take awhile to be able to tell you more personal stuff. I am not fast at it cause I don’t want to tell the wrong people cause I don’t want to get hurt. That is how I am. But right now I feel so alone. Because just because it takes me time doesn’t mean that it takes everyone time and that is just sad cause everyone is moving on but I am stuck.
I don’t want to be stuck anymore.
I have all these people ranting to me about their issues. Most of them don’t bother to listen to my own issues and almost the rest ask because they are curious not because they really care.
I knew you were trouble when you walked in. But shame on me now. Took me to places I’ve never been but now, I’m lying on the cold hard ground.
You know, I was going to rant. But today was a good day and in fact the past few days have been good with the exception of Friday night when I was just so out of it. Anyway, that post is gone because I don’t feel that way anymore. Okay I have a lot to say so first things first, I kinda stopped with the whole origami thing.. I made many more during September holidays and elearning week but I was too lazy to blog about it and then school started so I stopped making altogether. Anyways,
Thursday:
End of exams. Woohoo and all that. Went to vivo city. Quite annoyed until the movie. After that it was fun. Saw taken 2. It is was not as good as taken 1. Kinda disappointed. Popcorn throwing thingy was fun. Then we went to cold storage and vivo mart and giant. They were making puns out of everything. It was punny and funny 😀 Heh then we went to giant where my glasses were stolen for abit and they tried to trick me into going on the wrong escalator. BUT HAVE NO FEAR, I WENT ON THE RIGHT ONE 😀 Erm then we went to have some ice cream. I had peanut butter with wei yee. It was nice 😀 Seriously yummy. Erm then we went home. Yay . It was a good day or afternoon rather.
Friday:
Wei Lynn’s house – Movie Marathon. Met at nex and then went shopping where Alison had to buy her ham 😀 So funny~ We bought too much food.Saw the ending to Drag Me To Hell. Finally. And then we saw some of Black Swan which was just gross okay. I can’t believe we watched that. My eyes. Then we decided on Harry Potter because really, how can you not watch Harry Potter in a movie marathon? Oh we tried to bake. I cannot even begin to tell you how fail that was. They were so mushy. So mushy. And then after awhile, they were so hard. So hard. The cookies. They look monstrous.
Monday:
Today I went all the way to Juroung East MRT station. 20 STOPS. 20 STOPS. Okay then there was no place to sit and yeah they were 2 guys that occupied like 3 seats you know. Like they sat in the middle and occupied extra seats. Was so pissed. But nevermind , I slept all the way to outram where I met my her. YESH HER. and yeah. Erm lunch at Kopitiam and then ice skating. Ice skating was funny .
Fall count:
Yaali – NONE.
Me – 1 but then I couldn’t get up and kinda fell 2 more times. It was quite funny actually if you were watching not actually falling.
Joy – 3 or 4 or 5. We both can’t remember. But she fell with class.
Wei Yee – 3 times.
Heh but it was fun (: My teaching skills were awesome 😀 Heh Yaali hardly held the sides though she kinda walked instead of skated. I have like bruises and cuts 😦 They hurt. Then erm we got out and went to watch people . THAT WAS SO SO FUNNY I CANNOT. THERE WAS THIS CUTE BOY WHO KEPT FALLING. I SWEAR HE WAS SO CUTE. HE WAS LIKE 5(?) OR SMTHG AND HE WAS USING THE PENGUIN.HE KEPT SLIDING. SO FUNNY. Actually everyone who fell were really funny… haha. Then I went home. I had no where to sit and I was standing and squashed. It is as though we are molecules you know, being squashed together in matter. Overall, today was a good good day and I had alot of fun with Wei Yee, Yaali and Joy 😀 They are good friends (:
Lunch at a new Italian Restaurant, I went a while back with my family.
Food 😀
Starters ^ Mozeralla Cheese and Tomato and Dressing. YUM -MY
Spaghetti 😀 Ham and Cheese, Pink Sause spaghetti. So delicious.
Pizza.
The best dessert ever. Pistachio Tiramisu. Yeah doesn’t sound that nice but it is heaven. It is rated as the best tiramisu in Singapore. So so nice. I really crave it now. We all had like 2 and we finished both under 10 minutes. Dead serious.
Okay. Really long post . Be proud of me:D
Unclobbering Clob.
HEY .
Today :So I feel like Santa Claus today as I got presents for Mun Cheng and Joy today. xD Hmmm went to United Square cause my sister has tuition <Learning Lab. Got new school shoes and what I did there was probably boring. Got damn pissed off when I ask the Gong Cha lady for plain milk tea and she gave me milk green tea. Sigh. I couldn’t change it so I drank it. It wasn’t that bad but, well, I would not buy it intentionally. But my mum got me a cupcake so that was good 😀
So anyways:.. I got tickets to see THE WANTED LIVE FIRST FULL LENGTH CONCERT IN SINGAPORE. 😀 With Wei Lynn and Christina 😀 Damn damn damn excited!^^ THE SUN GOES DOWN, THE STARS COME UP AND ALL THAT COUNTS IS HERE AND NOW. MY UNIVERSE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. I’M GLAD YOU CAME. 😀 Okay I will add in the picture of the tickets tmrw ^^ GOT NEAR THE FRONT SO BLOODY HAPPY :DDDDDD AHAHAHA.
National day: was funnn^^ The singing was my favourite part 😀 National Day Celebrations is like my favourite celebration. I love the celebrations in school and ofc the singing with everyone.. It kinda makes us somewhat closer to each other and for once makes us feel like we belong 😀
Ps. I actually added really nice gifs but idk why they won’t work .. Sigh okay another time then!
Pps. I kinda forgot to mention how I am kinda in trouble with my parents right now 😦 But it is okay.. I don’t really want to talk about it. I am kinda on house lockdown rn. Sad life this is /:
Till next time (:
i will be my own hero~ 